


Lullaby for Those in Need

by CaptainBushel



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Chara is nonbinary, Depression, F/F, F/M, Frisk is Nonbinary, Go to hell with me you sinners, I CANNOT PLAN ARCS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT, I SUCK LMAOOO, I mean man this is just sad, M/M, Monsterphobia, PUNS I FORGOT TO TAG THE FUCKING PUNS, Reader Is Not Frisk, Sad Reader, Swearing, because i love homestuck, begging to be killed, crying is a thing too, drinking too, first fanfic, fluff maybe, i have no concept of how to move time, i keep adding tags lmao, light self harm, maybe a happy ending I dunno I'm winging this????????, maybe future smut I dunno, mentions of homestuck, mentions of self harm, no murder child though because Chara protection squad, reader gets really angry and then really sad sometimes that's a thing, reader has given up, reader has nightmares that's a thing, reader is female, reader isn't gay but like girls and dudes can be hot, reader knows homestuck stuff, sans gets night terrors, sucide attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-16 01:54:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7247455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainBushel/pseuds/CaptainBushel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are a college graduate, fresh out of school but not new to depression. It has plagued you for years, no matter what you do to get it to leave. One late night after losing your apartment finds you sitting on the edge of a bridge, smiling at a stranger before pushing off into death by car or falling; you don't care as long as you die. But they refused. </p>
<p>(first fanfic, so please be gentle and I can't summarize)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What the hell, dude.

**Author's Note:**

> So I typed this entire chapter today, and I haven't really checked it. At all. So hey, feel free to gently point out mistakes, because I've never posted a fanfic before and I'm really nervous.

You hadn’t planned this. Not one bit. You had found yourself, legs dangling over the edge while looking down onto the yellow tinted asphalt below you. But you found that you couldn’t care your grip was slipping, little by little.

Back when you were in middle school, teasing comments turned into isolation, loneliness, putting all of your energy into your schoolwork so teachers wouldn’t ask, wouldn’t wonder if you were okay. You had felt early on that this wasn’t something you should talk about if you wanted to seem as normal as possible. You had found refuge in the Internet, where you connected with people more deeply than in real life. Online was where you found people you actually supported you for who you were and knew what you were talking about when you talked about some of your passions. In the real world you quickly learned to shut your mouth and not talk, to let yourself slip into the shadows no matter how much it hurt to do so. Stay quiet and listen, let yourself be walked on, accept it was normal and wear a mask to protect yourself. It was okay that this was happening. It was okay to be shoved around and treated like dirt no matter how much it hurt. 

Other people came first. That had been drilled into your head when you had been told to be friends with someone to keep them alive. You ended up stopping that, telling the person that you were done with it. Done with being a fucking crutch. After that, everyone except one dude who stayed around because he was a friend abandoned you. You’d made it through high school with flying colors, doubling up on science courses to take advanced biology in senior year. You’d had plans at one point, but you got to college and everything just crumbled. You were lost, with no clue on what to do with your life at that point. You took mandatory classes for the major you’d planned ages ago, but ended up throwing in art classes in free time because you’d always enjoyed drawing on some level. You weren’t very good, but it was okay. It made you feel better. Like maybe everything could work out on some level. 

It didn’t. You sunk further into the pit of your own despair, eventually turning to self-harm. You didn’t cut, but rather quietly chewed on yourself hoping nobody would notice the bite marks before they faded away. You never bit hard, but you still bit away at yourself.

At some point during college, the monsters had burst from Ebbot. You’d seen them while watching the news because you had nothing else to do. It was strange seeing a race where every single person had different features except for the groups of them, such as Vulkins. They were really adorable. You had met a few, and all monsters were so upbeat and cheery that it brought you down, helping you to where you were now. Graduated and ready to push off. 

And now, on the bridge, you found you were faced with a question. Would you push your skinny, uncared for body down into the road? Softly, your vocal chords began to produce the beginning notes for an instrumental you loved, Heir of Grief. It resonated with you on a level deep enough you had learned to play it on the piano. Tapping on the edge of the bridge, a small grin graced your features as you looked down, tears beginning to creep from the corner of your eyes. You could hear a voice calling out, muffled as you closed the world out. The voice becoming louder and more insistent on whatever they were saying, you turned your head to see a blurry, short skeleton, wearing black shorts, a white tee, and house slippers. They looked worried. You offered them a small wave before placing a finger to your lips. Your voice rasped out some hopefully comforting words. “Aren’t you excited? Aren’t you happy?” You laughed a bit, almost happy now. The world would keep going without you. It would be better off. You were helping. 

“I’m going to be free.”

With that you pushed off from the railing, your hair flowing behind you as you watched the ground get nearer. Closing your eyes, you sighed and waited for the impact you needed. It didn’t come. A hum filled your ears as you opened your eyes, surrounded by a blue haze. You could see the road below you, inches away, and you screamed. You screamed in anger at the monster who had done this, rage flooding your body as you were lifted back up to the top of the bridge, the skeleton you had seen looking worried as he lifted you back onto the concrete. Uncurling as you were released from the blue haze, you stood up, fists clenched as you breathed heavily. This person who you barely knew, had the fucking audacity to get in the way of you freeing yourself. 

“I can do this all night. I don’t want to be saved. I have to die.” As you spoke, you choked up, falling back to your knees with your jeans protecting your skin. Body shaking, you kept talking. “Everyone will be better off. Nobody needs me; I’m just holding them back. I could have been free, and you,” You hugged yourself, staring at your knees with wide eyes, still gasping for breath. “You stopped me. Why the fuck do you care?” Closing your eyes, you shook as you felt your body being lifted. No, no, they were going to take you to a hospital, weren’t they. “Don’t take me to a hospital! Please don’t. I can’t face them.” Shaking, you felt a sudden cold before warmth spread over your body. A red glow casting itself on the inside of your eyelids, you shook slightly. 

Then, you found that you were no longer so focused on yourself that the words of others made sense like they normally did. A low rumble was against you, their words said in a baritone. 

“Grillbz, a burger and fries with the usual. Hey, kid,” You grumbled as you felt your side being poked. “Putting you on a stool, okay? You’re gonna eat and talk about whatever the hell that was back there.” Feeling hard wood against your side, you sat up and opened your eyes. He appeared to have brought you to a diner, and a fire man was cleaning a glass at the bar. Oh, you’d been here before! You were at Grillby’s, a quaint, usually monster filled bar you’d been coming to. 

“Hey bar _tinder _, how’ve things been? Staying in business without me coming in at one in the morning?” Wiping away the fallen tears, you offered the elemental a smile. You’d been coming here to drink away your issues for what, a month? Grillby always listened, even if he didn’t speak often. You enjoyed his company while drunk off your ass; he always called you a cab to go home in.__

“…Things have been….. fine.” Always a man of few words, Grillby was. Not really your type of guy. But he mixed a mean drink, and you had needed one a lot lately.

“Can I get my usual with that burger he ordered?” Jerking your head to indicate the skeleton on your left, you employed your best puppy dog eyes. “I need a stiff drink to deal with him. With life. With what the jerk did, being a freaking asshole back there.” As you spoke, Grillby mixed up your preference, sliding it across the bar to you. Turning to face the wide-eyed skeleton, you took a sip of the liquor. Ahh, good stuff Grillby mixed. “Now, jerk, what the fuck was that for? Trying to make me suffer? Trying to make me go broke because of all of this booze? You’d better explain yourself before I go back there again.” Taking a swig from the drink in your hand, you sighed to yourself. This wasn’t going to be fun, talking to the dude who fucking saved you.

“I honestly expected some gratitude, but I guess I’m not getting that.” You snorted into your drink at this. Gratitude was something you’d never give this person for the reason he wanted it. “I want to know what the heck you think you were doing there. Also, do you have a place to stay now? Or did you check into a hotel?” You gave the skeleton a look clearly questioning his sanity, before shaking your head at the last question.

“Nah, I don’t have a place to stay. Lost it. And in case it wasn’t obvious back there, I was trying to die. I know, real shocker right? Everything is shit, so why not? Snapped neck, hit by a car probably later. My mangled body on the front page of the news, and that’s it. Fin. Over. Been thinking of this for a while, whatever the heck your name is.” Leaning forward into his face, you could see a somewhat scared look behind his grin. “Lemme say it loud and clear; I want to die.” Snorting, you pulled back, finishing your drink in one go. “It’s not the booze talking either. It’s me talking. I know exactly what I’m saying, and I’m going to remember every bit tomorrow because I’ve said those four words to myself every single day for the past year. Tonight I actually had the guts for once and then you come along playing hero and fuck everything up.” Putting your head on the counter, you put your arms around your head like a shield. You could hear Grillby, and you put up one finger for a refill.

“You’re staying with me until you find another place.” You almost did a spit take with the sip of the second drink you had gotten. Swallowing hard, you gave the skeleton another look like he was crazy. “And my name is Sans. Better learn it since you’re going to be living with me until you aren’t like this anymore.” Sighing, you put your drink down and shrugged. 

“Okay Sans. Have fun trying to live with me. I’ll do it, but unless you want to force me into taking my happy pills, it’s not going to be easy. Better get me home if you want to do this.” You didn’t care. If he wanted to deal with you, you’d let him. Maybe it would be nice to be cared for instead of caring for yourself. Letting him embrace you, you felt the rush of cold before you were standing in a dark room near a couch. Suddenly finding yourself sleepy because of the booze, you fell onto the couch and let sleep flood your senses with peace.


	2. This rising tide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONCE AGAIN NO PROOF READING AT ALL EXCEPT FOR SPELL CHECKER AND SOME SMALL THINGS SO I HOPE THIS IS OKAY  
> Also this probably won't always update every day. And I'm currently thinking the chapters are going to be around 1.8k words each, so I hope that's okay? Anyways enjoy this shit here take it

“Wake the fuck up, _____. Grillbz said that was your name anyway.” No no no, why was someone trying to wake you up? Had someone broken into your home and asked the bartender your name for some reason? Seemed likely, maybe you’d fucked Grillby. Actually, it was unlikely that you’d ever fuck Grillby. He wasn’t your type of guy, too quiet overall. Well, needed to get whoever this was to go away. So you used your one strategy. Reach out and swing your fist. 

Okay fuck. Fuck fuck fuck that hurt, what the hell did you just punch because that hurt like a motherfuck. Deciding that maybe you should open your eyes, you opened your lids to find a skeleton clutching his jaw in pain. 

“Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have let you live here.” This was why roommates had never been something you’d enjoyed. Roommates sucked, always waking you up before lunch happened. You were more nocturnal currently, enjoying the night for what it had to offer. Also, hold up a minute you were living here? 

“Riiiight, let me sleep. You’ll just kick me out anyways, and then I can finally jump, asshole.” Offering the skeleton a malicious grin, you turned over to face the inside of the couch with a sigh. You didn’t have the energy to deal with this right here, right now. Then you could feel the couch leaving you as once more the same blue haze from last night surrounded you. Your first instinct was to scream at the top of your lungs, what the fuck, not again. The haze quickly dissipated, letting you fall to the ground heavily, landing on your shoulder with a grunt of pain. It had only been a foot, but without the time to prepare yourself, it hurt like all get out.

“Fuck. Fuck, I fucked up didn’t I? Apologies for the drop, kiddo, but I didn’t expect you to _scream_.” Flipping over and pulling yourself up on the edge of the sofa, you gave the skeleton a death glare. If it weren’t for the ache now present in your shoulder, you would rip him to pieces with some well-placed words. 

“Back the fuck up, bone boy.” You didn’t want to show that what he had just done was terrifying. Because it was scary as hell. But you always hated showing people that they got to you. Hide it until you break at the seams. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, anyways, being all nice and shit?” Standing up, you began walking towards him, angry as you were last night. And last night you had been pissed until everything kicked in. 

“I didn’t ask for help. I don’t want help, you bonehead. I want to leave, and do what I was going to do before you saved me with that stupid blue haze. Let me leave. Let me die, let me be fucking free.” At this point you were right in his face, staring up at the face of the skeleton. You hated him. You hated his nonexistent guts for bothering to try and help. A loud clatter coming from the kitchen, your head swiveled towards the noise. 

A tall, skinny skeleton was poking their head around the corner, wearing a shirt that said ‘JOG BOY’ across the front. You jumped back away from Sans, wondering who this person – well, skeleton – was. “Sans who the heck is that.” Your voice was a whisper as you hid behind the skeleton you knew to avoid the one you didn’t know. You may have been in his face just a moment ago, but at this moment you were wary about who this other monster in the house was. Ignoring you, he spoke to the taller skeleton. 

“Hey Paps. Making breakfast?” 

“YES SANS. PANCAKES AND BACON. WHO’S THE HUMAN?” Fuck that was one loud skeleton. Wincing due to the sheer volume the breakfast maker spoke in, you whispered swear words under your breath expressing your distaste for the noise level.

“Her name is _____. She’s staying with us because she had an accident.”

“It wasn’t an acci - MPHFF” A bony hand was thrown over your mouth, pressing your lips together as you gave Sans a death glare. Oh, he was going to have a bad time. What would you to him? Underwear raid, spike every liquid in the house? Well you could tease him all day, but you had better things to do with your time than make a skeleton think you loved him.

“YIPPEE! CAN I TAKE HER TO MEET ALPHYS AND UNDYNE? AND ALL OF OUR FRIENDS?”

“Sure bro.” He wouldn’t do that. Was he going to make you bond with his friends and family until you had too much to lose? You had to shut yourself away from them. You couldn’t let that happen, bonding with people. Although at this point you wanted to take the skeleton pulling his hand away from your mouth down with you. Smug little fucker. “C’mon _____. Breakfast.” Standing rooted to the floor as he walked towards the kitchen, you shook slightly, the knuckles of your clenched hands going an off white. End you now. 

Unclenching your fists, you shuffled towards the kitchen, still wearing your clothing from last night. A plain cobalt shirt underneath a black long winter coat, paired with paling jeans. God, this was not comfortable. And your bra had probably left deep red dents in your skin at this point. If it weren’t for the fact that two skeleton males were standing in front of you, you would unclasp it and throw it to the couch back in the living room. 

Instead, you took off your coat and hung it up on a bone shaped coat rack. You weren’t going to question that right now. Okay, pancakes and bacon sounded okay, Paps or whatever his full name was couldn’t screw that up too badly, right? Wrong. Sitting down to eat, you cut into the pancakes and instantly heard a slight crunch while slicing through the outside. It wasn’t just crispy outsides, these pancakes were crunchy and almost burnt. You were getting slight after tastes of charcoal, and inedible object appeared to be throughout the pancake. Picking one of the objects out of your teeth, it appeared to be glitter. 

And then, while Pap’s back was turned, everything on your plate disappeared. Okay then, that was new, better not get used to it. It probably wouldn’t save your ass every single time you ate the taller skeleton’s food. 

“OH! I SEE ALL OF YOUR FOOD IS GONE, HUMAN! DID YOU ENJOY THE GREAT PAPYRUS’S FABULOUS COOKING?” The skeleton struck a semi dramatic pose, earning a slight grumble from his brother. Setting down your fork, you straighten up in your seat and gave him a smile. Thank god you only had to take one bite. 

“I think it was pretty good! I do have some suggestions for the pancakes, though. Don’t use glitter; because while that might make the batter look nice, it isn’t edible. If you want to make the food look nicer, there are stores that sell things to make food look nicer.” The cooking skeleton was very attentive through your entire short speech, nodding at some bits. Papyrus then walked over to you and picked you right out of your seat to give you a hug that you were pretty sure broke some your ribs. Not literally but damn that hurt.

“THANK YOU FOR THE ADVICE HUMAN! IT IS MUCH APPRICIATED. NOW, IF YOU’RE GOING TO BE STAYING HERE, YOU’LL NEED MY BROTHER AND I’S PHONE NUMBERS.” As he set you down, your smile became much more strained as you walked over to the coat rack and reached into a pocket of your coat. Wrapping your fingers around your rather new cellular phone, you passed it to Papyrus. You watched as he typed in his number before sliding it over to Sans. The shorter skeleton actually stared you in the face as he typed his in, his white pinpricks of pupils seemingly gazing into your soul. Dear fuck this was weird. 

“Here you go.” He slid your phone across the table before standing up and leaving the kitchen. Thank fuck that was over. Shallow breaths shaking out from your lungs, you flicked through your entire phone and checked every single app to make sure that everything was still there. Fabulous, everything was in order, nothing different except the two new numbers labeled “THE GREAT PAPYRUS” and “asshole”. Wow, three guesses who actually named themselves asshole in your phone. At this point you were no longer panicking about the state of your baby, and you had walked over to your coat and pulled out your earbuds. Sliding one into each ear, you plugged them into your phone and began flicking through your music before deciding on Fall Out Boy’s _Save Rock and Roll_ album.

_“Put on your war paint!”_

The familiarity of the opening and Patrick Stump’s vocals instantly wrapped around in a way no human contact could. Slinking over to the living room, you began nodding your head to the beat, mouthing the words.

_“You are brick tied to me that’s dragging me down, strike a match and I’ll burn you to the ground.”_

Flinging yourself at the couch, you began singing softly to yourself, curling up on what was acting as your bed for the moment. The lyrics in a way were a bit to relatable, but not for the actual meaning. You felt it was more of a giving up, an acceptance that death would happen, no matter what you did.

_“Here it comes, this rising tide.”_

The rising tide line was what you felt the most in your soul. Depression had just become part of your life, and every day it rose a little higher, pushing on your sanity a little more. Closing your eyes, you stood up and began dancing, forgetting where you were and the situation you were in, what could happen to you if you fucked up badly enough. You didn’t care right now, dancing around a stranger’s living room playing air guitar at some points while singing your heart out.

_“You know time crawls on while you’re waiting for the song to start, so dance alone to the beat of your heart!”_

At this point, you had forgotten you weren’t in your small apartment that you had been evicted from. As far as you were concerned, you were back at a place you had until recently called home, rocking out to the last bit of The Phoenix. 

_“I’m gonna change you like a remix, then I’ll raise you like a phoenix!”_

Then someone pulled out an earbud, and you opened your eyes. Goddamn Sans was standing in front of you with a rather disbelieving look. Great.

“As much as I enjoyed that, time to go shopping for your things for your stay here.” Your face flushed a deep scarlet, your mouth slightly open as you heard the opening for _My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark_. Damn right they did.


	3. End me now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shopping turns into tears. Tears turn into begging. Begging turns into betrayal. Betrayal turns into lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAVE ANOTHER CHAPTER NO READER ISN'T GAY  
> Also wow, thank everyone for actually reading this! 30 kudos, and over 300 hits? I never actually expected anyone to read this. Anyways, read and enjoy some light pain

So, Sans had dragged you out of the house to buy new clothing, because of course he wouldn’t bother going to your old place and picking up your boxes of stuff. Currently he was waiting for you as you shuffled through a rack of clothing, trying to find something that fit what you wanted. Nothing on the rack so far fit your idea of what you wanted to wear, although the smug little fucker had suggested a flowing pink dress. You had flatly said no, you had no interest in anything like it. Turning around, you sighed as you held the one shirt you liked so far, a cheap, black and white print shirt with a Chinese dragon on the front.

“Look, let’s just go somewhere else, okay? This shop is full of crap. Take me to the thrift store, that’s really more my style. This shirt is already a good chunk of the money I have on me to pay with.” You had a twenty-dollar bill, and you were going to spend it because you were already living in his house and eating his food. 

“Nope.” Okay, that was really annoying how he popped the p like that, even with his low baritone. “I’ll take you somewhere else, but I’m paying.” No way. Nu-uh, not happening in a million years. He already had too much to be smug about for making you blush back at his house. It wasn’t even like you had sexy dance moves! He just complimented you out of the blue for it. 

“Take me somewhere else, and I am paying for this with the twenty I have in my pocket. I am staying in your house and eating what food I can with magical disappearing dishes and all, so you are not paying for this. Capiche?” At this point, you were up in his face for the second time that day, staring right into his eye sockets. 

“Geez, smalls, fine. But I’m taking you to lunch. My treat, except for your drinks. I’m not paying for those.” Rolling your eyes, you backed up and sighed, crossing your arms with a huff, you pretended to think for a moment. You had already made up your mind on the subject, but you didn’t want to seem alright with everything he said at the drop of a hat.

“Great. That means I can get some small things under five bucks. Because believe me, I’m going to be drinking heavily. To deal with you.” Smirking a bit, you began moving deeper into the shop, looking for underwear. You had to have at least two more undergarment bottoms, because otherwise you’d be wearing nothing or the one pair you had. Beginning to sift through the discount underwear, you sighed as you pulled two cheap, not very pretty sets of underwear out from the pile. Two dollars each, saving you around ten dollars for booze. Otherwise known as one strong drink, or putting everything on Sans’ tab. You knew he had one, because it was famous around the bar. He was famous around the bar. 

“You might want to stay back, because otherwise they’ll think you’re my goddamn boyfriend or something.” He put his hand to his chest in mock horror, before pulling his hood up over his head. That was a nice hoodie; maybe you could raid his room for one. You could see a slight blue glow coming from underneath the shadows of the hood, but you didn’t question it as you went to check out with him trailing a good fifteen feet behind you. 

“Hello ma’am, did you find everything you needed?” The cashier instantly started scanning as soon as you passed your things over the counter to her. Dang that was a nice get up she had on. 

“Yeah, thank you for asking.” Looking downwards as you reached for your money, you heard her clearing her throat.

“Hey, um... so this is random, but do you want to go on a date with me?” While you wouldn’t mind that, you really just weren’t feeling it at all with this person you just met. Also, it wouldn’t be fair to land her with the mess you were.

“Sorry, but I’m afraid I have to turn you down. I hope you find someone!” She looked disappointed at your reply, and handed you your change and your bag with clothing. After that she didn’t speak again as you moved towards the exit of the store. You could swear you felt a pair of eyes on your back as you left, but you ignored it, just straightening up with a shiver as the cold January air hit your front. 

“Why’d you turn her down?” The skeleton came up by your side, looking at you curiously. Honestly it wasn’t his business, but it wasn’t like he didn’t already know the basics of your answer. 

“I turned her down because it wouldn’t be fair to her to get attached to me when I’m just going to die.” Shrugging, you stuffed your change into your pocket and kept walking, trying to ignore how Sans was keeping pace with you until you felt bony fingers curl around your wrist.

“Don’t say that kiddo. Tibia honest, I’m not going to let you die any time soon.” That was a fucking pun. A fucking anatomy pun, nonetheless. Pulling your wrist out of his grasp, you kept looking and moving straight forward as you angrily hissed back a response. 

“I’ll say whatever I damn please, asshole. And oh, look who finally thought that it was time to break out the puns, and be all joking while talking about my upcoming death. I’m going to die. Newsflash, I know, biiiig shocker. Y’know, I hate you. I hate every bit about what you’re doing in your effort to keep me alive.” The skeleton had recoiled slightly at the hate in your voice, and you couldn’t blame him. You were happy he backed up, away from you, his little project or whatever you were. Wiping away some scattered tears, you kept talking. 

“I don’t want to care. Caring hurts, caring gets you roped into lifetimes of sadness. But you make me care and I hate it! I hate every bit of it! Stop making me care, _please_.” You had stopped paying attention to the skeleton at your side, and you jumped as you felt a rush of cold air before you found yourself standing in his living room, still holding your shopping bag with your clothing. What the fuck?

“Stop being so stubborn and shut away, _asshole_.” It was a soft whisper in your ear as for a moment you let yourself be wrapped into the hug and just cry. Cry at everything that had ever happened, everything that you had almost given up and honestly still planned to give up. But for the moment, you could just cry, let your walls down if only for a minute. A sad smile on your lips, you buried your face into the blue hoodie of the skeleton holding you, making a silent attempt to calm you down.

“Sans.” Your voice was a horse whisper because of the tears flowing down your face, and the gasps for air you were taking in-between sobs. “Sans. Kill me. Do it. It would be,” You took a gasping breath as you leaned on the suddenly still monster. “Would be so easy-y-y. Just put your hands aro-” You squeaked in surprise as you found yourself on the couch, looking into the blurred face of the skeleton. 

“ **N o**.” You’d made him angry. And he once again betrayed you. He wouldn’t help you achieve your goal. He wouldn’t help you. “Listen, _____. If I can help it, I’m never going to hurt you. Never, do ya hear me kid?” Nodding once, you let out a shuddering sigh and covered your face with your hands, crying into your palms. “I don’t know how to handle this. My _humorous_ nature isn’t very helpful here.” The skeleton was sighing, and you could hear the click of his hands against his face. And he made another pun. Lifting your hand away from your face, you frowned at him.

“Le-eave. No puns. Get out with your stu-upid puns.” Laughing slightly, you pulled yourself into a sitting position, pulling your knees close to your chest and raising a hand to your mouth. Without really thinking, you nibbled a little bit on the tips of your fingers, shutting out the rest of the world. Then another hand came and gently pulled it away.

“Don’t do that. ‘S not good for you, ya hear?” Sighing, you put the chewed on hand on your shins, curling into a tight ball. The last thing you wanted right now was for Sans to be there.

“Look just – go away please. I can’t right now. I can’t deal with anything.” You heard an audible sigh, and then you felt a hand nudging you as Sans spoke.

“Still want Grillby’s? I’ll pick up the entire tab, I’m a softy for crying.” Fuck yes. You needed some food to fill your empty stomach, and maybe some booze to help with the breakdown you had just had. Uncurling from your ball, you quickly nodded. 

“If I start slurring or hitting on Grillby, bring me back here, okay? That’s usually when he calls a cab.” Wiping away the crusts of tears along with the still wet patches, you could see that Sans was wiggling his eyebrows. Brow ridges? Whatever they were.

“Here’s the catch; no drinking anything with alcohol.” No no, you needed that booze to deal with today. You would sneak into the kitchen to grab a bottle if you needed to. But you would play along for the moment. Rubbing the wet spots on your coat in an attempt to smudge them, you sighed in defeat.

“Alright. You got me, no booze. None. I won’t drink at Grillby’s.” And now you’d set up a loophole. You could drink the moment you exited the diner, meaning that if you got a bottle of good stuff, you could drink anyways. Yay loopholes. 

“Okay, are we walking or taking a shortcut? Because I can get us there in no time.” Shortcut? That must be what he called it whenever you got the blast of cold air wait holy shit he could teleport how had you not noticed that. Okay then that was handy to know.

“Shortcut. Holy fucking shit you can fucking teleport. Holy fuck. What is my life.” Laughing weakly, you, let yourself be embraced by Sans, surrounded by his smell. Old books, pine wood, and ketchup. You could do without the ketchup bit, but overall it was actually a nice smell. _C’mon _____ what happened to not getting attached to them?_ Sighing, you waited for the rush of cold air before the teleportation.

“Hold on, kiddo.”


	4. Puns and soulful talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make it to Grillby's with Sans and enjoy your lunch. You end up losing a pun off, and he ends up teleporting you home after you try to stay behind so you can die. When you get back, you end up having a soulful discussion.

Freezing air hitting you in face, you blinked to find yourself standing outside Grillby’s, a light breeze moving your eyes as Sans let go of you, moving towards the door. Passing him before he could open the door, you opened the door yourself, walking into the bar in front of him, a smug grin on your face. 

“Hey hot stuff. Can I get a burger?” Approaching the bar, you passed the dogs’ table, and hearing Greater Dog bark, you veered towards them, taking a seat momentarily at their table. “Hey guys! How’re things going?” 

“Things are-”

“- Doing fine!” Of course it was Dogamy and Dogressa who replied. The ones you had the hardest time piecing together their shared sentences. This time it was pretty easy to figure it out though, because it was a short sentence. 

“Good to hear that. Anyways, I have a meal to eat on someone else’s tab. See y’all around.” Standing up as each dog either barked or said their goodbye, you took up a seat on the left of Sans, waiting for your food to make it to the bar counter. For a moment there was just awkward silence, before Sans asked a question.

“Why’re you so set on dying? I’ve never seen someone so determined to end themselves.” He was looking at you curiously, not judgingly or angrily. Just… curious. Sighing, you looked down at your hands as you spoke, picking dirt out from underneath your nails. You did not want to have this talk right now, on the first day of living with him. So you decided to give the short answer.

“Because I can no longer see a future involving me.” Chewing on your lower lip, you kept messing with your hands, rubbing them against each other and digging your nails into the palms of each hand. You had just given up. Fallen flat, become useless. “Life just stopped having anything for me. At first when the y’all came out of Ebbot, I thought…” You let your voice trail away, offering Grillby a mouthed ‘thank you’ when your burger slid into place on the bar counter in front of you. “I thought maybe the world could get better.” That wasn’t true. That wasn’t what you had been going to say before thinking better of it. Damn, now you had to keep going with that lie. 

“I thought people could get better, but they didn’t. People got worse, but instead of attacking each other, they attack all of you.” Sighing, you picked up your burger and began eating. Just how you liked it. That was one thing about Grillby; he mixed good drinks and made good burgers. At this point you became acutely aware that the bar had gone dead silent. Suddenly, a smattering of applause broke out across the entire bar. They must have heard the last part, with you talking about people attacking monsters. It was frankly very sad. Swallowing, you felt your face heating up as you turned around. “U-um, thanks?” Your voice was a soft squeak, and your face was a flushed red from embarrassment from the entire bar applauding you. You’d never had that much positive attention, and it flustered you greatly. Taking another bite of the burger, you wolfed down your food while Sans looked on in amusement.

“Feeling a bit red, _____? Because you sure as hell ain’t blue.” The skeleton laughed softly at his own joke, his deep voice along with his joking causing your face to change to almost a shade of fuchsia. It was decided; you would raid his underwear drawer as soon as you found his room. It must be up the stairs, since downstairs was a kitchen, a bathroom, and the living room. No room for him and Paps to sleep.

“You'll be paying for this meal, and you’ll be paying for those jokes soon. _Tibia_ honest, I’m not a fan of your puns, you numb _skull_. Why don’t you _skullk_ around somewhere else and find the _guts_ you need to beat me?” Oh, that look on his face was priceless. Absolutely priceless. 

“It is on.” Oh yes, he just challenged you to a pun-off. Time to crush him. Watching him pick up a bottle of ketchup, you winced as he began drinking it before setting it down and talking. “I’m going to leave you in the dust kid, no use trying to _ketchup_.” 

“I’m afraid I’m the one who will _relish_ my victory over you. You are going to be _salty_ at your loss.” As you spoke, you lifted up a saltshaker and poured so into your hand before sprinkling it on the skeleton’s skull. “Wait until you hear my great burger puns. I know, they really are a _rare medium well-done_.” At that one, you heard a few calls of encouragement from the crowd in the diner. 

“I should have given you more time to _pepper_ your puns, because they all are needing a bit more _zest_.” Okay then, he just pulled an entire goddamn lemon from his pocket and threw it at you. You caught it, thinking for only a moment before saying your starting pun for the next sentence.

“Don’t be so _sour_ , ummmm...” You trailed off, and Sans wiggled his brow bones for the second time that day. “Fuck it, you win. What do I, the loser, have to do?” The skeleton thought for a moment, before looking out into the street for a quick time check. Looking back, you rested your chin on your hands and waited for an answer. 

“You have to sit through dinner with me, my brother and my friends without once mentioning death or dying. Got it?” Okay. You could do that, easy as pie. And you had a feeling he meant tonight as well. Nodding, you pulled ten dollars out of your pocket and handed it to Grillby.

“Alright Sans. Grillby, I want the strongest drink ten dollars can buy in a to-go cup, because I’m only not allowed to drink in here for this meal.” The skeleton sitting next to you started to protest before his eye sockets widened and it hit him that you only had agreed to not drink at Grillby’s. Seeing his expression, you snorted before starting to laugh hysterically. “Fuck your rules Sans. Wording is important, as I’m sure you just learned.” Grillby’s flames crackled and popped and he nodded and handed you your drink before saying something.

“Sans… get dunked on.” As you took the drink from the elemental’s hand, you grabbed the shocked skeleton’s arm with a smirk on your lips, pulling him to his feet.

“C’mon, bone boy. Wounded pride or not, we’re leaving.” Pulling him out of the diner’s door, you quickly downed the red wine the bartender had put in the cup. Great, he was trying to keep you mostly sober. That wasn’t what you wanted but whatever. Sans suddenly snapped to next to you, and gave you a little scowl. At the scowl, you smiled and shrugged. “I outsmarted you. Now, if I’m eating dinner with your friends, I need something other these jeans, which I’ve been wearing the past two days. Willing to lend me shorts or something?” He nodded wordlessly and offered you a hand. You gave the hand a look before he sighed and spoke rather grumpily.

“Look, are you coming home or not?” He was giving you a choice. A choice between going with him and keeping your side of the deal, or leaving. Leaving meant you couldn’t back; you didn’t know the street he lived on, much less the house number. Leaving meant you could jump, that you could die. Standing up straighter, you gave him a wicked grin.

“I’ll stay. You gave me a choice and I’m not coming back.” He rolled his eye lights, and grabbed you into a hug. A cold rush of air washed over you, and you stumbled back onto the carpet in his living room, falling down onto your back. 

“That wasn’t a choice. I’m not letting you die.” For the first time, you heard a small note of desperation in his tone, a small little tone that said ‘don’t leave me. Don’t go.’ Propping yourself up on your arms, you tilted your head and looked him in the face, looking for any tell that maybe once he felt like you did. There was nothing but that little, barely noticeable tone that had left so quickly it might have been your imagination. 

“Sans?” The skeleton had looked away, but he turned his head back to you when you said his name. “Answer me honestly. Are you scared of me?” He instantly replied.

“No! ‘Course not.” His hand came up and scratched his skull as he raised an brow bone at your question. Was he lying? You couldn’t tell, so you decided to keep questioning him.

“Why would you be scared of me?” Sitting up, you shrugged off your coat and sat cross-legged in front of him. As your question registered with him, you watched his pinpricks of light vanish and sweat appear on his skull. You waited in anticipation of his answer. 

“Well, let’s start with basics. You have a soul. A physical soul sitting in your chest, shaped like a cartoon heart.” That couldn’t be right. You’d heard about this concept monsters had, but there wasn’t any way that everyone actually had one.

“No fucking way. I don’t believe that one bit.” Sans lowered himself to the floor, sighing and rubbing his temples.

“Almost everyone has a soul, that is not up for discussion. Now, more powerful monsters can get glimpses of souls without pulling them out. I’m the expert at that, it was my job underground. I can read stats, LOVE, EXP, just by glancing at your soul in your chest.” Okay then, sounds fake but okay. The skeleton started speaking, and then cut himself off. He tried to start a sentence again, but he shook his head. “I can’t see anything about yours. Color, stats, nothing. It’s like you can see everything, but you look at one person and sudden you’re blind.” 

“Well, I’m not going to let you pull my soul out. It’s mine, and I feel like it’s probably pretty private.” He nodded, the pinpricks of light back in his sockets. Your arms came up, wrapping around your chest in a hugging motion.

“We use souls for basically only fucking and fighting. So yeah, pretty private.” Wow, really private. But were they really that private if stronger monsters could just see your soul? Seeing your confused expression, Sans answered the unsaid question. “They’re your entire being, so when someone pulls out your soul you’re basically showing them everything about you.” Oh. _Oh_. Nope, you couldn’t let Sans pull you soul out. It was probably hideous anyways.

“Let’s talk about something else.” So the two of you did. You asked about monster culture, and Sans asked about human culture. You didn’t stop until the doorbell rang, signaling the arrival of his friends and family. 

Eyes widening in surprise, you grabbed fresh underwear and a shirt from the shopping bag on the floor, and the black shorts that were dangling from Sans’ fingers. Dashing to the bathroom, you quickly dressed in the fresh outfit. Lifting your tee up so you could see your stomach, you realized how much havoc you had wrecked on your body during your depression. You could count some ribs, and your hips jutted outwards. Your face was gaunt, and to be perfectly honest you looked like a corpse. Great first impression. 

Dropping your shirt, you exited the bathroom and made your way into the living room. Sans was greeting a tall fish lady and a short yellow lizard, letting them in. As you took a seat on the couch, the fish lady’s head suddenly swiveled to face you. 

Looks like you’re fucked.


	5. Dinner, texts, and a very important question.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are scared of Undyne and she asks you an intrusive question during dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got myself a volleyball camp soon so I'm gonna try and prep some chapters for then but posting might be a bit sparse during the first half of next week

“Sans, who’s this punk?” You were ridiculously still. You were holding your breath, praying that this buff woman wouldn’t tear you apart. If Sans ever wanted to stick his neck out for you, right now would be the perfect time. You honestly terrified of this monster. She had an eye patch on her left eye, bright red hair pulled into a ponytail, and really pointy teeth. Really fucking pointy. 

“New roommate, Undyne. She sleeps on that couch.” Undyne looked at you for a moment longer, before scowling and walking to the kitchen. Letting out a breath, you slumped into the couch and sighed heavily.

“Please tell me that not all of your friends are like that.” The skeleton chuckled, gesturing to the short lizard still standing in the living room, looking at you curiously.

“Alphys, meet _____. _____, meet Alph, former royal scientist.” Extending a hand over the edge of the couch, Alphys reached out and shook your hand. She seemed to be Undyne’s polar opposite, which you could appreciate at the moment.

“N-nice meeting you, _____! When did y-you move in with the skeleton brothers?” You almost laughed at the question. Now, should you lie and hope she wouldn’t notice, or tell the truth and get a shocked look. 

“I moved in last night.” You decided to keep it vague; that was part of your agreement with Sans since you lost the pun off at Grillby’s a few hours ago. You had almost forgotten about that with the hours of talking about various things. As what you said registered with Alphys, a shocked look crossed her face. But she didn’t push further and you were grateful. Pulling your hand away from the handshake, you went to the door since the doorbell had gone off and Sans hadn't made a movement to get the door. You guessed Papyrus was in the kitchen, cooking up a storm. Hopefully he didn’t use glitter. Sighing, you opened the door.

Oh fuck. Motherfuck and all the little fucklings. There was a giant goat lady standing in the doorway, with a small child next to her. You honestly couldn’t believe your eyes. This was Toriel. Toriel, queen of monsters, former ruler of the underground. Blinking twice you whispered underneath your breath. “Whoa.” Shaking yourself out of it, you moved out of the way and tried to form coherent words.

“You’re Queen Toriel, right? It’s such an honor to meet you, Your Majesty.” As she walked in, she laughed at what you had said. Her laugh was warm and motherly, not malicious in any way. A yell came from the kitchen, and you jumped. 

“No need to address me with such formalities, dear. I’d prefer if you call me Toriel, or Tori. This is Frisk.” The small child waved at you, and you waved back. You were on first name basis with the queen of monsters. You just met the monster ambassador. What was even going on with day? Things just kept getting weirder. “What is your name, dear?”

“_____. I’m Sans and Papyrus’s new roommate.” The goat monster clasped her hand together in front of her, looking at you with the same curiosity as everyone else. Her brow furrowed, and the child next to her signed up. A yell from the kitchen made you flinch slightly.

“Frisk, don’t ask that sort of question. It’s rude.” As she spoke she looked down at the child, her brow still furrowed. When she looked back up to you, a smile was on her face again. “Shall we head to the kitchen? We are the last ones to arrive.” Nodding, you walked into the skeleton brothers’ kitchen, flinching as you heard Papyrus screaming. God, that hurt your ears. Pulling out your phone and leaning against the wall near the doorway to the living room, you opened up a new text conversation with Sans. 

**You: how long is this going to last**

**asshole: knock knock**

**You: no  
You: whos there**

**asshole: u**

**You: sigh  
You: you who**

**asshole: didnt kno u could yodel**

Sighing, you put you face against the screen on your face, blocking out the screams and warnings for a bit, taking yourself back to the night before. When you had been sitting on the bridge, and Sans had been calling out to you. Calling insistently. Removing your face from the screen you began typing again.

**You: what were you saying last night?  
** **You: before i jumped**  
**You: i could hear your voice but everything just sounded muffled**

You could see him across the table, looking at you swiftly before ducking his head and typing again. Only Alphys, who was quietly watching facial expressions with a slightly worried look, noticed the silent conversation.

**asshole: i said  
asshole: don’t do it. someone cares about you, somewhere out there.**

**You: wow  
** **You: 10/10 you’re best speaker I’ve heard not  
** **You: for future reference, walk up to the person and pull them away**  
**You: unless it’s me. Then just let me.**

**asshole: no  
** **asshole: im not fucking letting you go**  
**asshole: btw they might ask abt not being able to see ur soul**

**You: fucking fantastic. Exactly what I wanted this evening, people asking me about my fucking soul**

You heard an audible snort and looked up. Sans was holding in laughter at your sarcasm, and you couldn’t help but be somewhat proud about making the punny skeleton laugh. It was an accomplishment, no matter how much you hated what he was doing. Taking a seat at the table next to him, you could have sworn you heard a small squeal, but you ignored it. Papyrus and Undyne set large plates of food on the table, one with spaghetti, and one with meatballs. When you though about it, the size of the platters made sense. You imagined Toriel must end up eating more due to her size. You waited a moment to see if they said a prayer or anything, but everyone started to grab food, so you tapped the shorter skeleton on the shoulder.

“Sans. Hover the spaghetti over here please.” You waited a moment to see if he would. He predictably didn’t, but Toriel passed the dish to you anyways. Taking a small portion, you gave Sans a death glare, but he was giving you a shit-eating grin. Goddam smug skeleton, being really smug and shit.

“__-___, we couldn’t help but n-notice-” Undyne quickly cut off the stuttering lizard, and rudely began talking rather loudly.

“Where is your soul, punk?” You froze, still as a statue. While you could hear Toriel berating Undyne and Papyrus talking seemingly to himself, you didn’t comprehend it. You had mentally shut down, because you couldn’t explain anything. There were no excuses to make, nothing you could do if someone tried to pull your soul. You could vaguely feel someone poking you; hear soft mutterings in your ear as the majority of the table turned to face your shaking body. A sharp pinch shook you out of your panic, and you quickly began speaking your answer.

“I-I don’t know. I didn’t even know that souls were a thing until this afternoon. I don’t know where mine is, I have to have one, right?” Of course you were the one person without a soul. You pushed away the old comments and remarks made about you that threatened to flood your mind, hoping your panicked tone wasn’t too worrying to the monsters. Feeling a warm hand on your back, you straightened up and kept speaking with a bit more confidence.

“I have a soul. It’s not your business to question where it is, Undyne.” You tried to make your tone commanding and final, but you ended up just sounding bored with the topic. Thankfully, Toriel spoke up.

“She is quite right Undyne. It may be… worrying, but it really is none of our business.” Thank fuck for Toriel. The warm hand had left your back at this point, and you slouched and stared at the pasta on your plate. Picking up a fork, you twirled some on and took a bite. It was okay. Not the best, but better than the pancakes this morning. As you swallowed, you felt a buzzing against your thigh. Grabbing your phone, you checked the messages underneath the table.

**asshole: are you okay? you freaked me out there, _____.**

Turning your phone off and putting it away, you bit your lower lip and almost unnoticeably nodded at Sans. You would be okay; it had just shaken you that someone had almost yelled in your face asked where your soul was. You quietly hummed under your breath, rubbing your hands across your thighs. You had a few more bites of spaghetti during the meal, but not much. Soon it was time to wash. You, Undyne and Sans got assigned washing, dryings, and putting away respectively. 

As you lathered the dish in your hands, you heard Undyne say your name. Turning your head, you saw a somewhat guilt expression on the buff monster’s face.

“Hey, um... Sorry about the question at dinner.” Great, you were going to have to talk this out while Sans was hovering dishes into cabinets and drawers.

“Look, it’s fine. Someone was going to ask, and you just got straight to the point. I can admire that. But it really wasn’t your business. Got to admit that.” The fish lady grunted, and that ended the conversation. As the three of you kept working, you thought about the hand on your back. It had been warm and gentle, and that confused you. You had felt Sans’ hands, they weren’t warm, and not particularly gentle as far as you knew. Making a small humming noise, you accepted it and soon the dishes were done.

Soon, it was time for people to go home. First to go was Tori and Frisk, and Undyne went to the car while Alphys stayed inside for a minute, standing in front of you while nervously looking at the carpet on the living room floor.

“W-would you mind coming into my lab tomorrow for some t-tests? I w-want to see if I can see your s-soul with a machine.” That sounded like she wouldn’t pull it out. Putting a hand on your chest, you thought for a moment before responding. 

“Okay. I’m honestly curious myself.” The scientist’s face brightened up as she turned her gaze to meet with yours.

“T-thank you! I’ll see you around nine in the morning?” Ugh. That would suck, but you could get Sans to haul you there. As you nodded, the lizard waved goodbye and left the house. With that you fell back onto the couch, closing your eyes with a sigh. 

“I am going to sleep, Sans I need you to haul my ass to Alphys’ lab tomorrow at nine.”

“Alright, _____. I’ll take you with me.” Oh fuck, he worked there? Well, wasn’t tomorrow going to be insanely fun? The answer was no. It would not be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHAT POV WE'RE DOING IN THE NEXT CHAPTER BECAUSE FUCK IT


	6. Nighttime and drinks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone ends up drunk and sad. Think that's all you really need to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapter, but the Sims 4 has taken over my life

So, he was taking you to work with him, was he? Alright then, he could deal with that. Although it was going to be weird hugging you for the shortcut when you had begged him less than twenty-four hours ago to kill you. He didn’t want to kill you; otherwise he wouldn’t’ve bothered expending his magic to catch you. He’d barely caught you as it was. If he hadn’t moved as soon as you had pushed off, you wouldn’t be downstairs right now, sleeping on his couch.

It was weird to think about, having a human roommate right downstairs, especially one he only met last night. It was peculiar to say the least. You yourself were equally strange, if not more so. He couldn’t tell anything about you through your soul, nothing at all. You either didn’t have a soul, it was so damaged the glow was no longer present, or it had been hurt so many times that it wouldn’t show up. He had never heard of any happenings of the second or third ideas, but he didn’t want to think you were soulless.

Staring up at the ceiling of his room, he reached up to touch to the glow of light streaming in through his window. It was still strange to him, to see some light source come through his window every single night. He expected to wake up back in Snowdin every time he jerked awake with a nightmare, hearing Papyrus call out the familiar words he did every reset. Clenching the reaching hand, he let it fall back to his side with a sigh. He could hear his trash tornado in the corner; he could see his discarded hoodie off to the side, resting in a pile. 

Everything was as it should be, calm and quiet. But Sans wasn’t going to sleep. He never slept well, no matter the circumstances. And because he’d been out with you all day, he hadn’t gotten to nap. As a result, he was tired, and the bags under his eye sockets would soon be more prominent that usual. Sighing, he sat up and swung his legs out over the edge of his bed before standing up. Wiggling his feet bones, he crept towards his door, deciding to actually use his hand to open the door instead of his blue magic.

He let his invisible skin prevent his bones from clicking against the metal, not bothering to make it visible since that expended more energy than just manifestation. Sliding out into the upstairs hallway, he left his door cracked open for practicality. Leaning on the banister that prevented people from falling to the ground floor. The house was peaceful, except for a muffled noise. It was much too quiet to be Papyrus, and it wasn’t him. So it was you. But why were you crying? Wasn’t everything okay at the moment? For a few minutes, he just listened to you sobbing, noticing each little gasp for breath every so often. He was somewhat inclined to go down and calm you, but he didn’t know if you were even awake. 

Sighing, he began to head back to his own room before he heard snippets of words coming from you and he turned around. Creeping down the stairs, he strained to hear more words. And between the sobs he heard fragments of words and conversation.

“ – ut – ease no – an’t any – why?” It was a confusing jumble that he could barely make sense of, but it was compelling, for some unknown reason. It made him inch forward, until he was standing at the edge of the couch, looking down at you, as you cried into your hands. Slowly, he reached out a hand, placing it on your scalp as you flinched away, pulling back from the touch. He didn’t want to wake you or try touch again, as it clearly hadn’t been helpful. Thinking for a moment, a coherent sentence was whispered from your lips. “Why do you hate me?” It was almost like a slap across the face, because it felt you were talking to him in your dreams. It was almost terrifying. He flinched backwards, almost stumbling onto the coffee table, his footsteps landing heavily against the carpet. Placing a hand on his own chest, he walked into the kitchen.

With a sigh, he took a shortcut over to Grillby’s. Technically the diner was shut up for the night, but he often found the bartender cleaning the glasses from the day. Offering his friend a shaken smile, he walked up to the bar counter, took a seat, and put his head on the wood.

“I may have fucked up really badly.” The skeleton closed his eye sockets, the malleable bone sliding over the sockets with a heavy exhale. He heard a crackle of flames, and he lifted his head and opened a socket. Was this going to be the Grillbz version of a lecture? He hoped not, those took forever. When he spoke in English, at least. Maybe he’d make it quick with firespeak. 

“… _____?” He started to confirm that yes, he’d fucked up with interacting with her, but then Grillby just laughed. It wasn’t really a laugh so much as sporadic pops of flame, and Sans frowned at the elemental. 

“Look, have yourself a good laugh hot stuff, but I need booze. A lot of it please.” Grinning as a tall glass of a shimmering blue liquid was slid across the counter, he put the glass to his lips with a content sigh, sipping the magical alcohol. It sent a comforting shiver down his spine with each sip, calming his nerves by slowly making him flat out drunk. When he finished the drink, he was slurring his words slightly and making wide hand gestures as he spoke. 

“See I found her on the bridge, jus’ sittin’ there. And I called out an’ she looked back at me, smiled an’ pushed off.” He felt like maybe his friend wasn’t listening, but he didn’t really care at the moment. He was drunk.

The jingle of the bell on the door barely registered with him, and his head turned slowly to see you, your cheeks still damp from crying. He didn’t say a word to you, and you didn’t talk to him. You just sat down to his right and put your head in your hands.

“Grillby, give me something strong. I can’t – ” The elemental slid you a vibrant red drink, one the same color as Frisk’s soul. It was called Determination, and that was because it was hard to finish if you weren’t determined to do so. And you just casually picked it up and began sipping, your body shivering as you did so. It was weird to watch you drinking. You looked like you hated it, but you kept going, fresh tears rolling down your cheeks as you went along. Slamming down the half full cocktail glass, you stood up and began pacing back and forth along the wood, throwing your coat onto a table as you began speaking.

“I hate this. I hate it so much. I hate everything about having to stay alive due to him coming in and fucking this all up.” As you accusingly said ‘him’, you pointed right at Sans. Sans raised a brow as he watched you pacing and talking, and he looked over at Grillby for some sort of advice on the situation. But the bartender just picked up his empty glass and began wiping it out. Really helpful there. Shifting in his seat, the skeleton decided to talk. 

“Look, kiddo. I gotta get you home, I have to take you ta the lab in the morning. Then we can see find out some stuff and maybe you’ll feel better abou’ life. I dunno. Either way, you’re comin’ home righ’ now.” For a moment you looked like you were going to fight back, but you just nodded morosely. You grabbed your coat, and walked over to him. Sans stood up, and as he wrapped you into a hug, he whispered some simple instructions. “Don’ let go.” And with that you and him appeared back in the living room, and you quietly flopped face down onto the couch. He quickly climbed the stairs to his room, pulling the door shut behind him with a burst of magic. Sighing, he threw himself onto his bed and closed his eye sockets again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO PROBABLY NO CHAPTER TOMORROW GUYS SORRY BUT MY WILLINGNESS TO WRITE ALL DAY HAS TANKED


	7. A pulse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You go to the lab, and Alphys runs you through some tests while Sans works at the Nice Cream stand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIED A CHAPTER TODAY  
> A LONGER ONE TOO  
> But probably definitely no chapter for the next four days! I'm going to be playing so much volleyball...  
> also feel free to send me asks on my tumblr and submit any fanart you have because I'm a lonely hermit
> 
> captainbushel.tumblr.com

You had a pounding headache. Wincing at the light filtering through the window, you rolled over and promptly fell of the couch with a thud. Fuck, fucking hell that fucking hurt. Slowly standing up, you began stumbling your way into the kitchen, following the smell of bacon. Feeling for the doorframe, you sighed before moving forward and promptly running into the table. Hitting the table didn’t hurt as much as falling from the couch, but it still wasn’t pleasant to ram one’s thighs into a hard wooden surface. As you hissed with the pain the world was inflicting on you, you heard a small chuckle.

“Bad morning?” That was an understatement by a long shot. Turning your head towards the voice, and you saw Sans, sitting at the table with the grin he always had on. Taking a seat near him, you put your head in your hands and muttered quietly.

“I think I’m still drunk. What the fuck was in that drink?” Flinching at the clink of ceramic against the tabletop, you lifted your head to find a plate of food and Papyrus, giving you a wide smile. 

“ENJOY YOUR BREAKFAST, HUMAN! DID YOU SLEEP WELL?” Wincing at the volume, you nodded and grabbed a piece of bacon. You didn’t care what the food tasted like; you just needed food right now. Crunching away at the food, you gave the taller skeleton thumbs up and kept eating away at the plate of bacon. “I’M GLAD YOU’RE ENJOYING THE GREAT PAPYRUS’ COOKING!” Still way too loud, but you could handle that until you died. Although at this point, you felt less needy for death. Maybe a week, two weeks would be okay. Maybe you could go for a week longer now. Reaching for another piece of food, you found your plate was empty.

“C’mon, _____. Gotta go to the lab.” Goddamn. You had forgotten, you had told Alphys that you would be at the lab for tests, whatever those were. Grumbling an agreement, you went into the living room, grabbing your coat from the couch. Turning around, you faced Sans with a start. You hadn’t heard him follow you, and it had freaked you out for a quick moment. Slipping your coat onto yourself, you nodded. Silently, he handed you a small orb. “Eat it.” And so you did, feeling your hangover quickly disappear. This must be why he was still functioning. 

“Let’s go.” Peeking behind him, you whispered the next bit. “When we get there, tell me how I got home last night.” And with that you let yourself be wrapped into a hug. For maybe the first time, you actually clung to Sans in return as the ice air rushed past you before you found yourself on tiled floor, looking around a room full of machinery. Letting go quickly, you wiggled free of the hold and began walking forward, looking around you as you went. Stopping right before the middle of the room, you cleared your throat in an attempt to get the attention of Alphys, who was over by the wall in front of you. The scaled head quickly turned around, and the monster offered you a nervous smile.

“__-____! Good to see you! If you c-could come sit down over here please…” Gesturing to what looked like an examination table, she moved to the side so you had a clear path to the table. Nodding as you walked forward, you began to shed your coat. You wouldn’t need it in here, as the air was warm but not hot. Placing it on the edge of the table, you hopped up onto the table with ease. God, you were getting nervous sitting on the table. Alphys was rolling over a machine, with a small screen about the width of your chest. Okay, that wasn’t at all creepy.

“What’s this do?” It was a simple question, meant to stall the machine being used on you. Because to be perfectly honest, you weren’t sure how you felt about it at the moment. You could have sworn that Sans raised a browbone momentarily, but you had no proof and so you said nothing. Alphys however, brightened up at the prospect of explaining it. 

“So basically, t-this screen is like an x-ray for the soul. All of this –” She gestured to the contraption attached to the screen. “Is like its heart! It’s m-mostly functioning off of magic. Pretty basic.” Basic? That stuff was amazing. But you didn’t comment, as she was moving the screen to hover over your chest. Chewing away at your lower lip, you waited for something. Anything that said you had a soul. As Alphys flicked little switches on the heart of the device, you heard a flicker of power coming from the screen. 

Sans’ browbones furrowed. Alphys stuttered out some unintelligible sounds and adjusted her glasses. As you shifted in your seat, you blurted out what was worrying you. 

“What is it? Is it not there? It has to be there somewhere, right? I have to have a soul, I have to…” Your voice trailed off as you cradled your head in your hands. “Say something. Anything. Please, just tell me what you’re looking at.” You could almost tell that the coworkers were exchanging glances, wondering what to say to you. Lifting your head, you almost screamed out your words. “TELL ME!” At this point you were shaking, and you brought your legs up to your chest, muttering to yourself that they couldn’t have been all those years ago. You had to have a soul. 

“We’re going to have to pull it to see it.” Sans murmured, sighing. Great, just what you didn’t want. They couldn’t see the entirety of your being; that was private. That was yours to keep. _____, don’t let them pull it. It’s yours. Nodding slightly to yourself, you swallowed hard. 

“No. It’s mine.” Alphys nodded, while Sans simply frowned.

“A-alright then! W-we can run tests to see if we can see your soul at any point in time!” Nodding in agreement, she flipped through notes on her clipboard. 

“Hey Alph, gotta run. Nice Cream stand shift starting in a minute.” The lizard nodded, and the skeleton promptly disappeared. Good job, _____. You’d pissed off the skeleton you were living with. 

“S-so, lets start with emotions.” For each emotion, Alphys proposed a different situation. For anger, someone insulted you. Nothing. For sad, your dog was hit by a car. Nothing. For happy, you laughed with friends. Nothing. No matter what situation the dinosaur-like monster said, nothing happened with your soul. You could tell the lizard was growing flustered with the lack of success as the hours passed, but you couldn’t do anything about it. 

“A-alone, listening to music.” So basically what you did every day you could. Humming _The Judge_ , you traced circles in the leather of the examination table. After a little bit you began quietly singing to yourself, and you heard a soft squeal from Alphys. Looking up, you saw the scientist doing a little victory dance. When she spotted you watching, her face went red and she stopped. “S-sorry!”

“No, it’s fine. But what is it?” You offered her a little smile and she cleared her throat.

“There’s s-something in there! It p-pulsed!” With that you pushed the screen to the side, and jumped off the table. Reaching out, you caught Alphys in a hug as you began to cry. You had a soul. You had something, at least, even if they couldn’t see it. They were wrong; you weren’t soulless. You had something in there, and that made you ridiculously happy. Pulling away from the hug, you whooped your joy, dancing around the lab. 

“I have something!” Wiping away your tears as you danced, you swooped in and hugged the scientist again. “Thank you so much.” You could hear stutters saying that it wasn’t big, but you ignored them. It meant the world to you at the moment.

“__-____? I hope this is okay, but do you w-want to come over for anime night tonight at eight? E-everyone else will be there.” Anime night, huh? That sounded good. 

“I’ll be there, if Sans if ever comes back for me. Which reminds me, I need to do something.” Going back over to your coat, you pulled out your phone and texted the shorter skeleton.

**You: guess what**

**asshole: what**

**You: I’ve got something where the soul goes ₍₍ ◝(•̀ㅂ•́)◟ ⁾⁾**

**asshole: nice  
asshole: also wtf is that **

**You: don’t ask also drag me back to your house plz at some point b/c I’m going to anime night**

“Alright now he knows to pick me up.” Checking the time on your phone, you saw it was around eleven thirty. Sans had been working for two hours now, and you had been here for two and a half. How did the skeleton work so much? It was puzzling now that you actually knew that he worked two jobs. “Hey Alphys, have you thought about doing a study of human souls? It might help you understand human souls better.” The scientist nodded, pushing her glasses up on her face.

“I-I’m actually doing one! That’s w-why Sans is working here for a bit. He’s the best at soul pulling.” You remembered the conversation you were having with the shorter skeleton the day before, about souls in general before you started talking about your opposing cultures. You nodded slightly to yourself, before you decided to ask a question.

“Sans said something about souls having color? What colors are there?” You figured it was a simple question, not anything really hard to answer.

“W-well, there’re seven colors. Red, aqua, orange, blue, purple, green, and yellow. E-each has it’s own dominant trait. The traits are determination, patience, bravery, integrity, perseverance, kindness and justice, respectively. But my research has shown that each soul is not completely dominated by a single trait, but rather every single soul has a different mix of colors.” You silently noted to yourself the information, as well as the fact as Alphys got into a subject her stutter disappeared. “Actually, we found it very rare to have a soul of entirely a single trait. Most souls have two or more, and in some cases a soul will have bits of all seven traits. We’ve found that souls are more complex than we ever imagined.” Suddenly she stopped talking, a quickly flushed a bright red.

“S-sorry, I was ranting w-wasn’t I?” You shook your head, smiling at the scientist. 

“It’s fine. It was really interesting! I didn’t know before yesterday that souls even truly existed. I met monsters before y’all, but…” You trailed off crossing your arms as you thought for a bit. “Y’all are the first friends I’ve had in a while. I had like, work friends at my old job, but all we did was go out for drinks. All monsters care, it feels. It’s… strange.” You laughed harshly. Were you really spilling yourself to Alphys? You have vague feelings that maybe, she understood. She seemed so nervous until she really got rolling, and maybe she understood a little, if not a lot. “I try to not let anyone care, but Sans found me and instantly he took care of me. You’re so nice, Toriel stood up for me after knowing me for less than an hour…” You trailed off, rubbing your upper arms with a sigh, closing your eyes for a moment. 

“I saw your face when I said I moved in yesterday. I’d never been mentioned, never been hinted at ever.” Opening your eyes, you saw the lizard silently nodding. “That’s because I moved in the night he found me sitting on that bridge. Stupid fucking asshole wouldn’t let me go, even though he didn’t know my name, he’d never seen me before that. He fucking caught me, inches away from freedom. It would have been better if he let me hit the pavement.” You chuckled to yourself, hugging yourself.

“I-I know that f-feeling.” You looked up, examining Alphys’ face. She was looking at her feet, her hands clasped together. “Undyne met me s-standing at the edge of the trash drop. I could’ve j-jumped, but she c-came along and just started talking. I-I kinda hated her f-for a little bit. W-why couldn’t she leave? B-but…” She glanced up at you for a moment, before looking back down at her feet. “She g-gave me a reason to live.” Moving forward, you hugged the sad scientist.

“Thank you so much Alphys. Just… don’t tell anyone, please? Not even Sans. I swear I’ll be quiet for you too.” Pulling away, you saw a small smile on her face as she nodded. At that moment, you heard a gentle hum. Sans must be here to bring you home. “Bye Alphys!” Reaching over and grabbing your coat, you checked that you had your phone very quickly before giving Sans a quick nod. With that, you were wrapped in a hug, and the cold air rushed past you until you found yourself once more standing in the living room, with plenty of time to waste before it was time to leave for anime night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the alphys thing is really a personal headcanon, ya know?


	8. Riptide and rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anime night occurs, not that reader pays a ton of attention to the anime. She and Sans actually have a halfway civil conversation before a realization and reader storms out and talks about things with herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST DAY BACK MAN AM I SORE AS FUCK  
> ALSO HOLY FUCK 70 KUDOS AND MORE THAN 1K HITS THANKS Y'ALL  
> here have this longer than usual chapter take it  
> also the chapter tomorrow might be shorter because I'm lazy and I ache a lot  
> heck might not be a chapter if I relax all day but probably a chapter

Holy fucking shit, where did the hours before interaction go? You had spent upwards of five hours listening to music and napping in intervals. And now you were holding your phone charger, still wearing Sans’ shorts because you weren’t sleeping in jeans. It was almost like whiplash, how quickly the time had passed by. You found yourself climbing into the backseat of a bright red convertible, pulling your seatbelt across you and clicking it in. God, it felt like you were just watching yourself do everything. Pinching your left shoulder, Papyrus pulled away from the house with a purr from the engine. ______, stop that. Get your mind back into your body._

You could feel your heartbeat underneath your nails, and you let go of your shoulder. The pain was beginning to register, and you thought that you might be good for all of anime night. You could feel the gentle rumble of the guts of the machine underneath you, almost soothing as you swayed with each turn of the wheels. A few minutes drifted by, and you looked out the window as the car came to a stop in front of a cute house. It made you think of those cute cottages that people would summer in. Opening the car door, you stepped out, looking around the street. It was a cute place. Walking forward, you played around with the charger you were still clinging to. You noticed that there was one skeleton brother on each side of you, almost as if they were protecting you from something. Sans stepped forward, and knocked before opening the door and walking in, you trailing behind him.

“H-hey guys! We were j-just starting Haikyū, season one!” That was Alphys. Blinking a few times, you tried to shake off the haze with your shoes as you let them land near the door. Smiling at the sweet monster, you followed her into her living room. It was cozy, with a loveseat and a couple of comfy chairs around a coffee table that sat in front of a television. Nowhere very near to plug in your phone, but it was comfortable. You spotted Undyne on the loveseat, looking ahead as the opening began rolling. You decided one of the chairs would be best to continue your spacing out on. Beginning to walk towards one, you froze as Undyne spoke.

“Hey.” Slowly turning around to face her, you kept your facial expression blank she looked at you. “Alphys told me about you going to the lab, punk. Nice to heard about you having a soul, nerd.” She gave you a toothy grin, and then refocused on the anime. Alright then, that just happened. Turning back towards the chair you had been going to claim, you found a skeleton already curled up, watching the screen. Making a mad dash for the other chair, you managed to occupy it before anybody else could. Now you were across from the smug little fucker, but you could be away from the others for your bout of disassociation that had decided to fuck up your time with the one being you were on good terms with. 

Your eyes were turned towards the screen, but the flashing pictures were simply background noise. You really weren’t entirely sure if the arms holding legs even belonged to you anymore. ______. Get yourself together. You are passing time with friends. You don’t need to do this._ You opened your mouth a bit, before closing it. You couldn’t voice your thoughts at the moment; you were surrounded by other beings. It would have to wait.

Time ticked by, bit by bit, and you finally looked around you. The others were starting to nod off, or in the case of Papyrus were already asleep. Sans was the only one who seemed fully awake. Looking back the screen, you found that you had no clue what was going on. Seemed like you had missed the majority of the first season. Or was this the second season at this point? You had no idea. It was over all pretty damn confusing. But it was adorable, so you could handle it. Pulling out your phone from a handy oversized pocket, you saw a flood of texts from coworkers and family. Everyone was asking where you were, why hadn’t you been to work, were you okay? Biting down on your lower lip, you started to unlock your phone before you realized you didn’t care.

It had been two days since they had seen you at the least. For some, it had been three or four days. At this point, they clearly didn’t care. You were betting that it was just so they could report you as a missing person. It was a weird thought, being marked down as a missing person when you knew where you were. _Do not answer them. It would be a waste of precious time, of which you have very little._ There was no point in replying. But you did open your phone, to block each one of your coworkers and family members one by one. You smiled as you did, not because of joy but one of maybe perhaps pain. You had meant to cut yourself off from everyone before you died, but had never gotten around to it. It had just never been convenient enough that you could willingly drag yourself out of bed to do it. 

Finishing your task, you looked up to find that the only light was from the television screen. Everybody was fast asleep, a peaceful look on their face. It was depressing to think that they had so quickly gotten attached to you. Slowly rising, you crept out into the front hallway. You turned the doorknob, pushing the door open far enough that you could slip out into the frigid night air. It was probably a mistake to exit the heated house in a shirt and basketball shorts, but you didn’t care at the moment. You took a few small steps, enough to take you into the frosted grass. Slowly taking a seat, you tilted your head back and looked up at the sky. 

It was always so pretty, just looking up into the night sky. You knew basic constellations, but nothing very complex. Things like Orion, the dippers and a few zodiac signs were the extent of your knowledge. Shivering at a light breeze, you hugged your knees to your chest and began singing softly.

“ _I was scared of dentists and the dark_  
_I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversation_  
_Now all my friends are turning green_  
_You’re the magician’s assistant in their dreams._ ”

You vocalized where you knew it should go, before starting up the chorus.

“ _And they come unstuck_  
_Oh lady, running down to the riptide_  
_Taken away to the dark side_  
_I wanna be your left hand man_  
_I love you when you’re singing that song  
_And I got a lump in my throat cause you gonna sing the words wrong.”__

“ _There’s this movie that I think you’ll like_  
_This guy decides to quit his job and heads to New York City_  
_This cowboy’s running from himself_  
_And she’s been living on the highest shelf._ ”

Then there was a small bridge, and you hummed the note pattern before singing the lyrics.

“ _I just wanna, I just wanna know_  
_If you’re gonna, if you’re gonna stay_  
_I can’t have it; I can’t have it any other way._  
_Oh, I swear she’s destined for the screen_  
_Closest thing to Michelle Pfeiffer you’ve ever seen._ ”

“ _And they come unstuck_  
_Lady, running down to the riptide_  
_Taken away to the dark side_  
_I wanna be your left hand man_  
_I love you when you’re singing that song_  
_And I got a lump in my throat cause you’re gonna sing the words wrong._ ”

Sighing, you trailed off at the end of the chorus, standing up, ignoring the damp area on the bottom of your shorts. You glanced around, spotting nobody around you. You saw a glint of light, but you ignored it. It was probably just a piece of litter reflecting the moonlight. The streetlights had gone out hours ago; it was almost three in the morning. You were exhausted, but you didn’t want to sleep just to jerk awake surrounded with worried looks, not remembering anything from your sleep. Heading back inside, you shut the door behind you with a creak. You could hear some shuffling from the kitchen, a slow movement judging from the sounds. 

Peeking around the corner, you saw Sans, hunched over a cup of tea. He had bags under his eyes, and he had for once dropped the smile always across his face. It had curved into a frown as he rested his forehead in his hand. Sliding into the kitchen, you leaned into the wall with a shiver before whispering.

“Hey. You aren’t looking top notch, fucker.” You could have sworn that he snorted lightly at that statement as he looked up at you. “What? You look like shit.” He shrugged, leaning back in his chair. 

“Says the person who keeps trying to die. The fuck you doing up?” Didn’t seem like he was in a prying mood; that was a good thing.

“I could ask the same. Truth is, I never fell asleep. And I need you to brief me on what the hell happened in that anime, I missed everything.” He gave you a look like you had to be insane, and you internally sighed. This was going to be so fun to answer, if you decided to tell the truth. 

“Okay kiddo, how the fuck did you both miss everything that happened in the anime and not go to sleep?” Taking a seat across from him, you leaned back with a sigh.

“Disassociation. It’s different for everyone, but for me my head just gets filled with like this numbing fog. Everything seems hazy, I forget a lot of things, and my senses get really dulled. It’s hard to hear, comprehend shapes, and feel literally anything at all. Feels like I’m just watching my body itself without me telling it to. It’s creepy.” As you spoke, you drew your knees up to your chest, hugging them against you. “Now tell me what the heck happened so I don’t insult Undyne and Alphys.”

And so he whispered to you the basics of what had happened, scenes where the others had laughed, and the names of the character. You nodded along as you listened, hoping that the two monster wouldn’t talk to you about the show in the morning, hopefully keeping the conversation between them and Paps. Finally he finished, and for a minute a comfortable silence hung over the kitchen.

“So, disassociating, huh?” It was a sudden question, breaking the deafening quiet. You nodded, letting your legs away from your chest to cross them on the chair. “I guess that’s another thing I get to know about you. Wants to die, disassociates, has nightmares.” Nightmares. You had nightmares? Of course. That must be what jerked you awake in the mornings. Occasionally you had been able to remember smidges of information, but those weren’t helpful in the big pictures

“I have nightmares?” ______, yes you have nightmares you ignoramus. I’m surprised you didn’t figure this out already._ Wow, your subconscious was being a huge fucking bitch today, wasn’t it? Sans was giving you a strange look like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“I think so, kiddo. You talk and you cry. Pretty damn depressing to watch.” Wait. He had watched that without helping. Without waking you up. He didn’t care enough to. He was just like the rest, selfish and not bothering to care about you. You slowly stood, trying to not shake in your anger.

“What kind of _creep_ watches people sleep? I don’t know why you’d delay me if you’re just going to stop caring, either. Fuck you.” Your voice had risen to normal volume, rather than the whispering that had been happening between the two of you. “I thought maybe you cared. That maybe – I wasn’t just a fucking _project_.” You spat out the last word, before you stormed out of the kitchen and threw on your shoes. You were passed pissed at this point. You felt like a little experiment, a little side project that he didn’t care about. Fumbling with the door handle, you opened and shut the front door before storming out into the cold air once more.

Tugging on the car door handle, you pulled open the car and got inside, shutting the door behind you and locking yourself in. Crossing your legs on the seat, you cradled your head in your hands. _You let your feelings as a living being interfere back there. If you could pull your head out of your ass for a moment-_ “NO. Shut the fuck up.” _Pull your fragile mind together, _____. If you aren’t careful, you could find the other monsters shunting you to the side._ “Shut up. Why are you arguing, you should obey. You’re part of me.”

 _Make Sans take you to Toriel’s house. She’ll listen. Alphys already knows too much, doesn’t she? Spread it out so if one breaks, the person asking doesn’t get everything. Think tactically, _____._ “Okay, that is smart. Thanks, me.” Finally registering a vibrating against your leg, you pulled out your phone and looked at it. Messages from Sans. The last being on the planet Earth you currently wanted to talk to. 

**asshole: u arent a project  
** **asshole: ur a person**  
**asshole: i just want you to get better.**

 **You: I’m going to regret this later but  
** **You: I hate you**  
**You: You don’t bother to help me until I’m about to die**  
**You: Do you even care until it become life and death?**

 _Great job, _____. No way he’ll take you to Toriel’s tomorrow._ “I fucked up badly, I know. But blowing off steam feels better right now.” As you spoke, you corrected his grammatical error and made the first letter of asshole uppercase in his contact.

**Asshole: yes**

**You: Really now  
** **You: Anyways I know this is a dick move but you’re the only one I kinda trust**  
**You: Can you take me to Toriel’s tomorrow**  
**You: I wanna talk with her**

His reply wasn’t instant, and so you were waiting for a few minutes. ______, we’re really going to have to do something about your feelings of betrayal. Those aren’t a good thing to have._ “I happen to be fucking aware of that, but that’s just me. Anyways, shut up. He replied. Why the fuck am I telling myself to shut up anyways?” Laughing tiredly, you checked your phone quickly. 

**Asshole: fine. told the kid I’d visit anyway.**

You sighed in relief, turning off the screen of your cell phone. Opening the car door, you slammed it before running for the front door and yanking it open. Closing it slowly, you slid off your shoes and crept back into the living room, reclaiming the chair as your own. Closing your eyes as you curled up, you hoped that maybe for once you wouldn’t jerk awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO SUBCONSCIOUS YOU POP UP AN AWFUL LOT IN THIS CHAPTER DON'T YOU


	9. A very fucking tense drive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans and you have an uncomfortable conversation on the way to Toriel's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS IS SHORT BUT I'VE BEEN WATCHING WREXIE STREAM FOR A LOT OF THE DAY WHOOPS

The next morning found you being shook awake, still curled up on the chair. You had some soreness in your back and neck due to the angle you had slept in, but otherwise you felt okay. As you were shaken, you rolled off the chair onto the floor.

“Five mor’ minutes. ‘M tiiired.” Then you heard the laugh, and you realized that Undyne was waking you up. You squeaked as you were picked up by the ankle, holding your shirt down as you dangled upside down. “I’m awake I’m awake don’t drop me please please.” Looking with a pleading gaze into the eyes of the fish woman, you hung there as she laughed. She was fucking laughing, oh god was this going to end well? Worst-case scenario she kills you; it’s unlikely but that was the worst possibility. 

“Punk, the skelebros are leaving soon. They’re your ride, so!” Oh. Great, you got to spend time in a car with an innocent skeleton and his brother you had insulted multiple times and almost yelled at last night. Brows furrowing, a frown appeared on your lips. “Hey nerd, why’re you frowning? They’re your roommates.” You sighed, before squeaking as suddenly Undyne flipped you to an upright position on your feet.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“You sure it’s not because you have the hots for the shorter skel?” Giving her a disbelieving look, you couldn’t help but to burst out in laughter. Was she joking? She had to be joking. 

“Are you kidding?” Gasping for breath between your laughter, you saw she looked mildly disappointed. Oh god, was she shipping you with Sans? No fucking way. “I hate his nonexistent guts.” You whispered, not wanting the skeleton brothers to hear. “He’s a fucking asshole to me as a general rule. Anyway, while I’m here,” You pulled your phone out of the pocket of Sans’ shorts and chucked it to Undyne. “Put you and Alphys’ numbers in please?” Wait. Sans’ shorts. Crap, crap, that explained it. She must think the two of you were fucking because you were wearing his clothing. Well, too late to explain now. 

“Here you go, punk. Run along now. Visit soon!” You were then pulled into a quick bone-crushing hug, and released before you could complain. Grabbing your charger, you dashed into the front hall, threw on your shoes and ran towards the convertible, opening the car door and jumping in just as Papyrus started up the engine. Close one. You could see Sans looking at you with the front mirror, but you ignored him. You didn’t want to talk to him. Although you supposed you would, since he was taking you to Toriel’s. Keeping your mouth shut, you looked out the window.

“HUMAN, DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME DURING ANIME NIGHT?” Ah, the ever-cheerful Papyrus. It was nice to hear him; you hadn’t really had him talk to you for the past few days. 

“Yeah, it was nice!” You could say more but you didn’t really feel like you needed to. How does one casually throw into conversation that people thought you were fucking Papyrus’ brother? You don’t, which is why you didn’t try. You just kept looking out the window until you felt your phone vibrate against you. Pulling it out, you read the message.

**Asshole: wat were u laughing abt**

**You: oh undyne thought we were fucking**

It was a simple enough thing to answer, because it wasn’t embarrassing for you. It was just a fact of life; people thought you were fucking the skeleton. The rest of the drive you were silent, as you heard the brother arguing in the front on why Sans was changing colors. It was interesting to listen to, but you had nothing to add to the conversation. You’d just be a burden to their brotherly banter. You did get a few good chuckles out the puns, though. Finally, Papyrus pulled up to the house, and you looked at it with a sigh as you got out. It was welcoming to most, but to you it was basically a prison. Feeling a hand land on your shoulder, you flinched away at the sudden contact. 

Oh. It was just Sans making you jump. Making a small noise of anger, you began walking up to the house before you found yourself pulled to the ground. Oh great. This had to be more of Sans’ magic. You knew he could lift things, but apparently he could make things be pulled to the ground. Including you. 

“We gotta go to Tori’s. She’s expecting us soon.” Oh. You’d forgotten about that. 

“Alright. We driving, or shortcutting?” He made a head motion towards the car, and released you from your place on the sidewalk. “Bye, Paps! See you later!” The taller skeleton waved goodbye as you hopped into shotgun, Sans already sitting driver. “So, bet you want answers, don’t you?” Your tone was bitter, your back slouching as you dropped the demeanor you had been holding. 

“It’d be nice to know some things.” As he pulled away from the curb, you sighed to yourself. Wonderful job, _____. You successfully cornered yourself like a caged animal. God, your conscious was being rather vocal these past few days. “Mainly, I want to see your soul.” Fuck no. No no no, you couldn’t have that happen. It was yours, not his to look at just because he wanted to. You were internally panicking over the simple statement. “I want to see why you’re so possessive over it. And why I can’t see it.”

“No. It’s mine. I need it. It’s mine to keep until I decide. I can’t stop you, but please. I’m asking you to not pull it.” Bringing your arms up to your chest, you squeezed your shoulders. “It’s probably hideous. Like me. Don’t touch me!” The last bit was a snap at the hand drifting towards your shoulder. You glared at the skeletal limb before pressing yourself into the car door. “I’m just your fucking project. You don’t know how many before you failed ‘fixing’ me.” You did air quotes as you spoke, still looking out the glass pane as other cars rushed past. Toriel must not live nearby, like Alphys and Undyne.

 ______. Be quiet. You are spilling too much information already. Remember? Spread it out. Be tactical._ That fucking voice again. You wanted to snap at it so badly, but Sans was there. However, it had a point. You were opening up way too much, basically putting targets on all of your weak areas and saying ‘Hey, shoot right here to take me out.’ So you were quiet, until Sans spoke.

“Why do you think you’re a project?” You snorted, turning to face the skeleton. 

“Well. For starters, you felt the need to stop me. Second, you were totally using the tests Alphys was running to find out about me. You don’t bother waking me up from a nightmare. That’s all pretty damn compelling.” Leaning back against the seat, you waited for him to fire back.

“First, I would have felt compelled to help anyone I saw trying to jump. Second, you were the one who explicitly agreed to those tests in the first place.” He was silent for a moment, flicking his turn signal on and taking a left hand turn. “On the other hand, I didn’t wake you up because I touched you and you flinched away like I slapped you.”

“Huh.” You really didn’t have much else to say as Sans pulled into a driveway in front of a large house. This must be the place. Getting out, you walked up to the door and knocked. After a few seconds, the door swung open, and a child stood in the entrance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO TAKE THIS POLL BECAUSE I'M CURIOUS ABOUT WHAT Y'ALL THINK
> 
> http://www.strawpoll.me/10640625


	10. Venting and butterscotch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toriel's house is full of awkward conversations, venting, and butterscotch pie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE LACK OF CHAPTERS GUYS  
> My sibling had a friend over for the weekend, and so all of my time got taken up. Here, have another chapter. Also I'm surprised nobody's asked why the hell reader's subconscious knows so much?
> 
> ALSO THANK Y'ALL FOR OVER 90 KUDOS, 15 BOOKMARKS, AND 1.4K HITS Y'ALL ARE AMAZING
> 
> http://www.strawpoll.me/10640625
> 
> vote about what you think reader's soul color might be/is  
> Anyways, have a good week y'all because I'm probably not going to get a chapter out for six days, unless I type it on my phone. I might, but most likely not.

Oh, it was Frisk. Offering the child a smile, you began to speak before Sans cut you off. 

“Hey, kiddo. _____ tagged along to talk with your mom. She free?” Frisk’s hands moving quickly, you just watched as they signed. All you knew was the alphabet, and you were pretty shitty at it anyway. You always screwed up some letters. “Alright.” The skeleton turned to face you, pinpricks staring you right in the face. “Kid says Tori’s free.” You must have gotten lucky. She had to be busy most of the time, sorting out everything with monster issues. You knew that there was still plenty, but you hadn’t kept up with them. Staying inside all day for weeks did that. 

Stepping over the threshold, you instantly smelled a heavenly scent drifting into the hall from the kitchen. Looking around, you were instantly reminded of a sort of cabin in the woods vibe, with dark wood everywhere and thick rugs under your feet. Following the smell, you ended up the kitchen and you spotted Toriel’s back, bent as she looked into an open oven. Quietly walking over to the counter, Sans and Frisk quickly went to the living room to spend time alone. Hopping up onto a low counter, you waited for the large maternal monster to turn around. As she did, she jumped a little bit before her face relaxed into a warm smile.

“Oh, _____! I did not expect you to be here. It is nice to have you visit.” Flinching a small bit as you were pulled into a tight hug, you slowly relaxed into the contact. As Toriel released you, you offered her a small grin.

“You and Frisk are the only ones I haven’t visited since the dinner party, so,” You shrugged, looking down at your feet. “I thought I could drop by and talk.” Okay, you’d already fucked this up. You’d wanted to talk to Toriel about how you felt, about what had happened, maybe cry a bit. You could use a good cry, but not with Frisk and Sans nearby. You didn’t trust Sans for the time being. 

“Of course. Would you like to go somewhere more private, or are you fine talking here?” She tilted her head slightly as she spoke, her long ears brushing across her cheek. Thank goodness she asked that question, you hadn’t known if you could ask it. 

“Somewhere more private, maybe?” And there you went making it sound like a suggestion, rather than a solid, polite statement. Toriel nodded, before turning around and opening the oven. Pulling on oven mitts, she reached in and pulled out a fresh pie, setting it on the counter. As she pulled off the temporarily donned mitts, you slid down from your perch to land on the floor. Following Toriel, you stayed behind her as she stood in the doorway to the living room. 

“The pie is out of the oven, my child. But do not touch it until it is fully cooled, okay?” Frisk must have nodded, or given some confirmation to Toriel, because she turned around begin walking towards the stairs. As Toriel moved onwards, you could see Sans and Frisk sitting on the couch, facing each other, with Frisk turned towards you. You then followed Toriel up the stairs, moving as quickly as you could to catch up with Toriel. 

When you made it up to the second floor, she had paused and was considering which room would be good conversation, you supposed. Following her into a cozy room, you looked around the room. Two couches angled so they didn’t quite face each other, and a coffee table. There were also pictures on the walls, but you didn’t examine those closely. Taking a seat on the couch across from Toriel, you removed your shoes, placing them neatly on the floor next to the couch. Pulling your feet up on the couch, you looked down at your socks. You’d need a new pair soon, because these weren’t going to last forever.

“So, I notice that you seem to have borrowed a pair of Sans’ shorts.” You could tell she was discreetly trying to ask if the two of you were dating. Great, it seemed like you’d have to go through explaining now. God, you hated explaining things. Exhaling, you traced patterns across the skin of your shin. 

“It’s because I didn’t have anything else but a dirty pair of jeans.” You could tell without looking that Toriel’s fuzzy eyebrows must have risen at least a little bit in surprise. It was an expected reaction. “You have no clue, just like everyone else. Wasn’t it surprising when suddenly the brothers have a roommate when you have heard no mention of getting one, even in passing?” Looking up quickly, you saw she was nodding. It was to be expected.

“Long story short, it’s because Sans met me around three days ago when he met me. I can tell you the rest at a later point, but that piece is why I’m here, mostly to vent.” Drawing a breath aspect symbol on your leg, you suddenly felt a touch encouraging you to scoot over. Was she going to listen? Looking at her, she looked at you expectantly to keep talking.

“So last night we were both awake after everyone had gone to bed at anime night, and we were talking. Turns out the night before, I was having a nightmare and he didn’t wake me up. And I don’t know why but that hurt down in my chest, and it made me feel like a project again. Not allowed to leave until I’m better, observed instead of helped. And I’d been thinking maybe he actually cared about my wellbeing, but it just made me feel like his little experiment again. I feel like something that he only pays attention to when convenient, you know? Something that can be just thrown to the side when unneeded. It hurts, not on the outside, but inside. I guess my soul? I don’t know.” ______ shut your mouth before she insists on looking at your soul. If you say your soul hurts, she’ll want to heal it. Keep it to yourself, yourself._ As your conscious spoke, you stopped talking. You were probably right. 

“My child, may I see your soul? I am rather worried about the state of it.” Shit, you were right. She wanted to see it. She wanted to see you soul. 

“No! It’s mine. I’m not ready to even think about anyone seeing it. Sans told me that it was basically the core of who I am. I’m not ready for anyone to see that.” Looking at her with pleading eyes, Toriel sighed as she heard your answer. She stood up, nodding her head towards you.

“I will respect your wishes, but I am going to speak to Sans about treating you kinder. I am afraid the pain in your chest is your soul and I am…” She trailed off, as if trying to find the right words to describe what she was feeling. “Rather worried. Before you leave would you like to take home a slice of butterscotch pie?” Well, that was a drastic change in subject. You weren’t really sure why there was a huge subject change, but you guessed that meant it was time for you to go.

“I’d love a piece.” Standing up, you slid on your shoes and followed her out of the room back down into the kitchen. You could hear gentle murmurs from where Sans and Frisk were, and as Toriel packed up a piece of pie for you, you stood around the corner of the doorway, trying to listen to bits of Sans’ side of the conversation. Frisk signed after all.

“Hates me. I asked!” Pause. “You have no proof. Annnnd question time is over okay I’m out – ” A very blue-faced Sans dashed into the kitchen, while Frisk followed him, laughing as they did. Peculiar. Perhaps Sans had a crush on a colleague at his nice cream stand? Following the duo into the kitchen, Toriel swiftly handed you the slice of pie. The entire kitchen was strangely silent, and you slowly backed out, waving goodbye and weakly smiling. The entire atmosphere had dropped after you’d heard Toriel speak, and it was confusing. 

Backing out the door, you stumbled and suddenly a pair of bony arms had caught you. Flinching at the sudden contact, you were slowly returned to a standing position facing Sans, his pupils still nowhere to be found. Suddenly, he started speaking as you began walking towards the car. 

“Oh god I’m sorry I’m sorry what if I killed you – ” Wait, what the hell was he blabbering about? Killing you? He didn’t even try to make a pun about you falling. 

“Sans. You didn’t kill me, whatever the hell you might have done. It’s okay. It’s fine. What you did hurt nobody. Let’s wait in the car for a moment, you clearly aren’t in shape to drive.” Climbing into the passenger side, Sans got into the driver’s side, looking at the inside of the roof of the car. His breathing was slowing, a good sign in your book. After the passage of a minute, he laughed a little, looking over at you.

“Sorry. Just, Tori sent me into a panic when she said I might have cracked your soul.” You made a puzzled face, and he decided to answer the unsaid question of ‘what the hell does that mean’. “Well, for starters, if a monster’s soul cracks, it can kill us. If I got a full on crack, I would mostly likely turn to dust in the next week, if not that second. Someone like Tori, she could go for a bit. She’s tough in her soul. Has a lot of hope. But most of us…” He sighed, and drew a skeletal finger across his neck. “Gone within the week.”

Holy shit. That must be why he had the sudden freak out, and why the kitchen had gone dead quiet. Everybody but you must have heard. ______, you must understand his terror. For you, something similar to a soul crack for a monster is bullets in your vital organs._ Oh. For once you’d actually made a good comparison, one that caused your eyes to widen a slight bit.

“Oh. Holy fucking shit. I can understand that. I was a bit worried about you, not even making a corny pun about me falling. Also, I have a deal.” His brow bones quirked up, waiting for you to speak your deal. “You wake me up from nightmares and don’t be so clingy. I hate this almost house arrest thing. You do that, and I try to trust you. We can’t keep living in this state of hate. Or at least I can’t.” Sticking out your hand for a handshake, you saw the skeleton pause for a moment. Was he doubting you, himself, or simply thinking? 

He put his hand in yours, and you forged a truce. As he started up the engine, you heard your subconscious murmur softly. _Don’t be a fool, _____._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOK AT THAT A TRUCE WOW WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED


	11. Nightmares and night walks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The six days without a chapter start tomorrow guys!
> 
> www.strawpoll.me/10640625  
> vote about reader's soul if you haven't already (it won't actually change anything but I want to see y'all impression of her)
> 
> By the way THANK Y'ALL SO MUCH FOR OVER 100 KUDOS AND WOW I'M GETTING CLOSER TO 2K HITS THIS IS AMAZING? I NEVER EXPECTED THIS AND IT'S GREAT

The ride back to the house was peaceful as you basked in the thought of more freedom. Maybe you could get a job, prepare to pull away from the skeleton brothers financially. Maybe even start renting an apartment so you wouldn't have to spend more time killing your back by sleeping on the couch. It was okay, but you wanted a mattress. Desperately. Looking out the window, you took a moment to forget that everything wasn't really going particularly well for you. Until you started thinking about everything that could happen, and your smile slowly fell. 

You could be killed for being friends with monsters. You could lose your job (if you even got one) and end up losing your apartment (if you got one). Sans could kick you out once he found out you talked to yourself. Papyrus could end up crying if you critiqued his food. The familiar feeling of distrust washing over you, you kept looking out the window, but in a more wistful manner as you hoped that everything would be fine. Yawning as you stepped out of the suddenly parked car, you walked to the door and yanked it open. You could suddenly feel the effects of the lack of sleep weighing down on you along with all of your emotions and paranoia, and all you could do was fall onto the couch and sleep. 

\--

" _Hello._ " Rubbing your eyes, you find yourself sitting up in the middle of a field of grass. A meadow, to be exact, dotted with patches of flowers. You didn't hear the voice outside of your head, but rather, inside. Looking around, you jumped slightly as you saw a version of yourself sitting before you, facing you directly. " _Surprised?_ " The other version of you - 2.0, you guess - silently laughs as the sounds echo in your head. They aren't truly you, however. They have rounder cheeks, more flesh than bones. It makes you feel self conscious of your gaunt appearance, like you're about to make it to the grave. Their face is not your face. Point O's face, while seemingly healthier overall, is not fully human. 

Their eyes are simply black holes into their skull, and are watery around the edges, as if about to slide out of their face. Their smile is impossibly wide, the teeth towards the edges almost like dog teeth, pointed and made to eat other beings. It was a rather horrifying look, but you swallowed and dealt with it. 

“Where am I? Are you me?” The laughter rang through your head once more as Point O stayed externally silent. This was going to give you a headache soon enough. 

“ _I'm not going to tell you because you won't remember the vast majority of this when you awaken._ " You frowned all you mulled over the other you's sentence. Was this one of the nightmares Sans mentioned you having? “ _I am going to tell you a few things. I'd recommend listening, even if you’ll just forget._ ” Information was always good you supposed. Never mind that you wouldn’t remember it. 

“ _Don’t trust anyone. You and I are the only people you can rely on, _____. I’ve been with you for years, and I haven’t done any harm, have I?_ ” Their voice is a low purr as they speak, their right elbow rested in their opposite hand as they gesture with their right hand. As they speak, their smile grew even wider, stretching back to almost their ears, the flesh of their cheek simply parting to let their teeth show. “ _I’ve been with you through tough times. I guide you through your paranoia, don’t I? I help. Everyone else hurts._ ”

They were right. Everyone else hurt. Everyone else betrayed you at some point or another. Everyone stopped listening and let you fade back into the noise. You bet even the monsters would. Your breathing accelerating, you held you head in your hands. 

“No, no, they’re all going to leave. They’re going to see how broken I am and throw me away. I’m going to be alone again. I hate them, but I can’t stand being alone again. I’m broken, I’m so, so broken. I have to die. I have to die before they leave me. I can’t stand someone leaving again. Goddamn it why do I have to _care_?” Holding your head, you saw the ground below you flicker into black. You could hear a distant voice, and suddenly you were falling. Farther and farther, as the other you just watched. 

\--

“Wake the hell up!” You jerked awake to find a worried Sans hovering over you. Was it really the middle of the night? Yep. All the windows were dark, and the only light in the house was from the kitchen and the streetlight filtering in. Wait. You could remember. Holy crap you could remember. Pulling yourself into a sitting position, you stared straight ahead as you tried to collect your thoughts. A skeletal hand was waving right in front of your eyes, and there was a voice in your ear that suddenly became clear, causing you to flinch away. “Kid, you okay?”

“No. Oh, fuck. Why do I have to care? I don’t want to care. Caring hurts, caring hurts so much. I don’t want to care. I want to stop feeling like this.” You flinched as you found yourself wrapped in a hug, bony arms holding you tight. He wasn’t letting go; you could feel his arms holding you tightly. “Let me die. I’m too broken.” You were glad that your brain hadn’t caught up to your mouth; you’d probably be regretting saying a lot of this soon. You were dragged off the couch, and Sans was still clinging to you like a piece of treasure. 

“Stop saying that. You need to care. For yourself, if nobody else.” He was wrong. You didn’t need to care. You were already thin from ages of starving yourself from lack of will, and you were alive. 

“… Can we go to Grillby’s?” Food and booze seemed like the right way to go at the moment, but to get it Sans would have to let go of you. For a bit, he was silent, still holding you tightly. You began wriggling to show your displeasure at the situation, and he finally answered your question.

“Fine. But we’re walking.” His arms slowly uncurled from around you, letting you go grab the coat you needed. As you put it on, Sans glanced at you before opening the door. As you stepped out, he locked it behind him. Made sense, since the two of your were leaving behind a sleeping Papyrus. Didn’t want him to be killed because the door was left unlocked. 

God, you had forgotten how cold it was out here. Shivering slightly, you began walking in the direction you knew the bar to be. Sans followed along beside you, just wearing a black shirt with ‘Bad to the Bone’ written on it and his regular shorts. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence between the two of you on your end, but you didn’t know if he felt the same way. Sighing, you spoke as you continued forwards.

“M’sorry for all the shit I’m putting you through. ‘S not fair that you get some of my baggage and I don’t get any of yours, y’know? I feel like I should at least know one thing about you. It’s not right for you to carry me and you.” The skeleton didn’t speak, instead responding with just a simple grunt. He didn’t tell you to stop talking, so you kept rambling as you turned a corner. 

“Like, everyone has at least one big secret. You know I’m depressed, suicidal, and have nightmares. All I know about you is like, acquaintance stuff. I know that you can do gravity magic, and you like making puns. I know nothing about you.” ______ stop talking to him about this. He won’t tell you any personal information._ God, you could not handle this right now. Your conscious certainly was a pain in the ass. Before you thought about it, you snapped at the voice. “Shut the fuck up.” Realizing your mistake, you glanced over at Sans, who was giving you a strange look.

“I wasn’t talking, _____.” Lie or explain? Lie. You didn’t want to put more baggage on him; he was already carrying too much of your stuff. 

“Sorry, I was, um, talking to myself. Didn’t mean to say it out loud, but I was rambling, so I accidently said shut the fuck up out loud. Sorry.” He nodded as if understanding, but you doubted he did. He was probably just unwilling to dig into what you’d actually snapped at. Turning your head, you heard a call from across the street. They were calling your name, whoever it was. 

“_____! Where have you been? You’ve been gone for days. Someone checked out your apartment and said that they had been told you were gone, and you weren’t answering your phone.” It was a coworker; you believed her name was something like Rose? You had never thought you were particularly close, but you guessed she’d been looking for you. Standing still as Rose crossed the street towards you; you tried not to shake all over. When she made it over to you, Rose looked at Sans and took a step back. “_____? Is that a monster?” While the question was directed at you, you were aware that you probably couldn’t form words of any sort. Luckily, Sans had your back for once.

“Yeah, pal. I’m a monster. Got an issue with that?” Rose took another step back, onto the street devoid of cars. Shit, Rose was a monsterphobe.

“Yes. _____, don’t hang out with them. Come back and join us, you can get your job back really easily!” Rose reached out a hand for you to grab, and you stepped back, taking the space right next to Sans. Finding your voice, you managed to speak. 

“I’m not going with you. The monsters have been kinder towards me than anyone else has been. You know what you can do with that monsterphobia of yours? Shove it up your fucking ass, Rose. I’m sure it’ll fit.” As you spoke, you became surer of yourself, and while you did keep a civil tone, you knew you’d just made yourself a target. You’d painted a bull’s-eye on yourself by knocking her off her pedestal, no matter how satisfying it was. “C’mon, bud. Let’s keep going and not let a racist stop us from drinking.”

Offering Rose a sickly smile, you turned and kept heading towards Grillby’s. Sans followed after you, your former coworker still standing on the side of the street behind you. 

“Holy fucking shit. While I do appreciate that, there was no need, _____. I don’t want you getting hurt because you stood up for us.” You shrugged, and the two of you went the rest of the way to Grillby’s in silence. 

Somehow, telling off that monsterphobe gave you hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooooooooooooooooooooo who's excited about Sans and Reader maybe having another civil conversation


	12. AUTHOR NOTE (sorry y'all)

SO HI GUYS BASICALLY NO CHAPTER TOMORROW

MAYBE NO CHAPTER FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK because I've become Mchanzo trash and I have to writing something about it??? i've been compelled to since I scrolled through the tag on tumblr. So basically I'm going to be reading up on my lore and theories so I can write so good Mchanzo?? Sorry guys. Go outside and play pokemon go that's what i've been doing when not reading Mchanzo. Have a good week! take care of yourself! Drink water! Don't pass out from the heat! Make sure that your mental health isn't getting worse/is maybe getting better! Y'all are great for even reading this, so take care of yourselves! Y'all are important to me because y'all are so willing to support me! Stay okay! also feel free to comment with scenes you want to see! I'm kind of stuck right now with this....

\- Bushel

**Author's Note:**

> Looks like Sans is in for a lot of bullshit.


End file.
